Wait til your 20

Today, I'm so upset. I don't even know what upset exactly means, maybe something like disappointed, and if it does mean that, I'm more than upset, I'm DEPRESSED!!!!!

SKIN CARE PRODUCTS

I spent nearly 1000 pesos buying a exfoliating scrub, whitening lotion, waxing kit, sunscreen and I thought I would be happy after buying them. I bought the St. Ives apricot exfoliating scrub. I haven't tried it yet but i guess it's good to have that, the Nivea sunscreen and lip balm. What's so depressing and surprising is that I bought this Amira Magic Skin Whitening Lotion (supposedly the cream is what I would buy), then just a moment ago I read from the internet that it has carcinogen content which causes cancer! I also bought Epilin waxing kit, (supposedly the Strip It! waxing kit, but the stores are closed and this is the only good one i can buy) and tried it on my underarm. Since I was new to waxing myself/at home I find it hard to get all the hair out of my underarm. It took me 3 times to heat up the wax so it would stick on my underarm. I don't even know if the temperature I'm setting on the microwave is right, because it only has 350 degrees and up indicated, so i just based it on the how hot the wax went. I searched for tutorial in the internet for Epilin, but I only found waxing tutorial for Strip It! wax, and in that video, I saw how hairless and clean the girl's arm became, and it really made me regret buying Epilin over Strip it! just for time and place reasons. In short, I wasted nearly 500 pesos buying shit that i won't find useful anymore! or even consider using it.

There's a few more things I want to buy for my skin. I want to get that Strip it waxing kit, an aloe vera gel for waxing, new whitening product - this time it's bee-luscious whitening cream, a cleanser and a moisturizer. I want to buy all of those because it leaves me satisfied and confident that I'll have better skin in terms of tone, texture and overall appearance. The problem is just I don't fucking have enough money!!!! each product costs around 200 pesos! and where the hell would i get that? sure, i have that much money on my bank, but I have to hold myself and remind me of my priorities  because i need to buy more important stuff than these. So yeah, I guess I just wait til I have my job and earn lots of money. Just wait til i'm fun sucking 20!

WORKOUT CLOTHES AND RUNNING SHOES

The more important stuff I was talking about, besides my new clothes for my college life, are WORKOUT CLOTHES and RUNNING SHOES. For every runner, it's a must to have a good running shoes, at least 2 pairs, so you can switch/use them alternately, and good workout clothes with good fabric, to keep your sweat condition ok. So, what I did was I searched for tips on buying running shoes and workout clothes on the internet.I found out that good running shoes are those branded ones (adidas, brooks, saucony) which are like 4000 pesos for each pair!!! The workout clothes were the same, I searched for Dryfit and coolmax and it was around 1500 pesos, although I found one labeled as drifit (on sulit.com.ph), I don't know if its misspelled or what, but it's just 150. That's for short and top. So I made up my mind and decided that I'll just buy new rubber shoes costing at least, around P1000 and workout clothes not less than P1000. But again since I wasted my money over that damn skin products I have to sacrifice the money left (P500 something) for my college necessities! 

And, you know, besides that, I want to workout in the gym, but I don't have guts to do that! I have zero knowledge about anything on the gym and I get insecure just thinking about going there, even when jogging, I still get insecure.

It's just all about the MONEY and having self confidence.. in other words (again).. BEING 20!

CONFIDENCE TO TALK WITH AWESOME PEOPLE

Now this one, I know it has nothing, totally, to do with money. It's more of confidence and talking experience. 

A moment ago, I went on tim urban's facebook page. There's some contest he's putting up there.

It says you have to make a music video for his song to be released, entitled "Someday" and whoever got the most views, likes and whichever he thinks fits the song/he best liked will win a free skype chat with Tim. The thing that caught me here is the prize.. >>  A FREE SKYPE CHAT WITH TIM?? << omg, that would be my best day ever if i won that.! problem: i don't have the talent, equipment, confidence, money, time, back up people to do that! what the hell, if only i was 20 when, I'll probably have built my talents and gained confidence, had my own job and m$ney, and trustworthy friends that would help me anytime.... IF ONLY!!! then i would have joined that competition and won a free chat with tim urban. DANG.!

and even if I was able to join this, now, and won. I won't still have the full confidence to have a live chat with tim urban. C'mon, I can't speak straight in English, I don't know what else to talk with Tim, and I don't know Tim Urban's interests, maybe sports, I don't know the frickin hell anything about sports (UGGHH what a loser me), so what are we supposed to talk about? If ever I had to have chat with him, right now, with this face on, with this anti-social attitude on, it would be hell terrible!!!! It would be awkward and boring. ugh. If only I was more confident and richer! IF ONLY I WAS TWENTY YEARS OLD!!

stuff i wrote when i was 12: senior moments

I'm totally not inspired. And I HATE IT. 
    Ever since I overstudied last weekend in my subjects, i lost my inspiration to do everything I must do. I guess my brain got stressed, but my body's still forcing me to study. 


    And it's Sunday and I'm still not 100% inspired and motivated to do studying... It's just that, how much effort I give in studying, how much sacrifice I made, the consequences are all the same. And I don't like the results, I'm not satisfied with a grade of seven over ten. I have so many problems and I don't even know where to start!


    Ok. Let's just start with that stupid "senior moments". I had this forgettable memory of mine since the first week of August. I'm having problems with my friends, problems with my studies and with my mom and dad. Imagine misplacing an object that you just used 20 minutes ago, and even forgetting the next cycle of Light Reaction taught by your teacher 3 hours ago. I even studied that at home! But still, the day Ms. Madrid taught that to us, after 2 periods, I forgot some part of them... 
    
    Am I having Alzheimer's disease?


    No. 


    Just senior moments. But it's mind-bugging! I remeber that day when I advance studied on each subject (but I wasn't able to finish it because that was the day I lost my inspiration and motivation), then the next 2 days, which was Monday, I forgot some of them. Especially on our MAPEH class, my teacher was asking us about what Physical Fitness and its components are and I didn't have my copy so I was like, "Hey, can I borrow your notebook please!!" And my seatmate, who happens to be my crush (but that's when we were in first year), was like *ignore* *ignore*. He just raise his hand not minding and not even looking at me. So, I just tried to remember what i memorized but nothing came out. 


     My other problem was, I know you didn't expect this, but my suitors. I mean, I like my suitors, I like the fact that someone's still attracted with me, and someone had the gut to put my name on his jersey but I don't want them calling me 12:00 midnight just to talk about nothing. There was 2 of them who keep calling me "mahal". It was J%#$%#$^ and R#$@#$.  J%#$%#$^  was the first one to ask my hand and the first one whom I fell in love with. I am just so-easy-to-get that in the first month of my suitor's courtship I easily fell in love with him. 


ugh.. reading this now (2012) makes me puke

stuff i wrote when i was 12: MONDAY SHOULD BE NO CLASSES

ok, this is another thing i wrote 2 years ago, so sorry if i sound like an idiot when i was talking about my suitors (see number 4), i 'censored' the names of the guys i was (i wont say my suitors) involved with.. just to be careful.. 


just forgive my thoughts, this was 2 years ago!

MONDAY SHOULD BE NO CLASSES
                     
        I really expected that Monday would be no classes, well, because of the SONA. I have so much to do! I have so much to study. I just want to change my life.

         J#$&% was the first one to tell me there would be no classes on Monday. I already planned my schedule and hoped I can do that but, all of a sudden, on 23rd of July my classmate told be there would be classes on Monday since were not affected by it. Kevin informed us that only those schools near the Commonwealth would have no classes, he even waited for our school name to appear but he didn’t saw it. I didn’t believed him at first until our teacher announced and confirmed that were would classes on Monday. I was nearly crying when I heard the announcement but I just told myself that I can study in two days… But can you imagine it? Two days!!!

I’m so stressed these days because of the quizzes, because of my friends and other stuffs. I wasn’t been having a good and long sleep since Monday. I was planning to study at night and limit my sleeping time to two to three hours. But the result was bad. It was very different from what I expected. Instead of 6 subjects I just studied Biology. I didn’t have time to focus on other subjects and I wasn’t able to follow my schedule. Well, that’s because of some “important” reasons…
1.   Assignments… I have a lot of tasks to do!
2.   Chat with me ‘till dawn. It’s one of my temptations.
3.   My piano. This is my greatest temptations, whenever I saw my piano smiling at me it tempts me to play it. So, I spend like 50 minutes playing my keyboard..
4.   My suitors. The fact is I already have three suitors. But all in all there were six guys who had been having a crush on me.  The first one was J*%^#$%, which is one of my suitors, he’s been liking me since R#^#@$% was my boyfriend. The second one was J#$&%*. After the courtship with E%#^*&, now, he’s wooing with me. And, R#%^& was my last suitor, he didn’t directly asked me that but J%$#%#$%#$ told it to me.  J#$&%*  and R#%^& definitely don’t have the chance but I’m not sure with J*%^#$% since I dealt with him that after one year of his courtship I promised him what he wanted, and that is me, to be his girlfriend. M%$#^&*% is not my suitor since he already have his girlfriend but there was a day that he told me that he has a crush on me but that was sort of idolizing me. The other one was A^&#%%@, he’s not my suitor too but since I was in first year high school he’s showing me signs that he liked me. I’m not sure with this one but A%#$%#$ do told me that J&$@ P#*@ has a crush on me. He “Type ka daw ni J&$@ P#*@.”, but I guess I just didn’t heard clearly who he’s talking about because  J&$@ P#*@  has been asking about L^%& these days. If I were to choose which of them would be ok to be my boyfriend I think I’ll choose  J&$@ P#*@ .. He’s super cute, cheerful, serious, stick to one, and understanding. Definitely the kind of guy I like.
5.   Sleepiness. The worst cause of my disobedience in following the schedule was being sleepy. Every night when I study for like 4 minutes I always get sleepy and so, I rest my head and after waking up from a sudden and unexpected sleep I realize I just consumed 2 hours! It gets worse every night. I can’t even understand what I am studying. The bad thing was I always drink coffee to stay awake but I end up realizing it’s already 4:20 and I had slept without accomplishing my assignment or my jobs. I also know that coffee is extremely dangerous especially for teens like me.
6.   Ruined Thursday. It’s all my mom’s fault why I wasn’t able to study the following night. She thought I was the one sleeping on the lower bed and so she didn’t woke me up. So she woke up at 4:00 am realizing that it was my father who had been sleeping that night. I got very angry at her.
I know that some of my so-important reasons are not really important but it doesn’t mean that I should be very strict with myself.

stuff i wrote when i was 12: My Goals in Life

My Goals in Life

     I have so many goals in life. When I was young I wanted to be a doctor. When I was like 8 years old, my grandpa was sick, which made me decide that someday I’ll be a doctor and will cure and help people with their sickness no matter how much effort I should exert. Until now, I still wanted to be a doctor. The lachrymose story of Aya Ikeuchi (one litre of tears) strengthens my inspiration to become a doctor. I want to be a doctor that will make the incurable, curable, a doctor that will end the spread of dreaded disease and a doctor that will give hope to each and everyone of its patient.

     Other than being a doctor I also want to be a Lawyer. Most of my uncles and aunts are in this line of profession. I want to help people with their problems and solve different cases. I know being a Lawyer is a real challenge to me since I don’t know much anything about Law. I really love this job and I think having my uncle and aunt’s guide will make it a lot easier for me to pass board exams.

     It may seem strange for me since I’m not that active in dancing or modeling (such stuffs), but I also dreamt to be a singer & pianist, model and popular actress someday in my twenties. Probably, I was inspired by our Miss Universe 2008, Dayana Mendoza, since she was confident, smart, obviously beautiful and she always remained poised under pressure. Another thing that inspired was compliments and support my teachers gave me when I was in grade 4-6. They keep telling me that being a model is suitable for me since I had that perfect “Pinay beauty” they were talking about. My strongest passion may be my passion for music. I love anything that includes music and I believe that’s why I want to be a singer and pianist or any instrumentalist. I just want to have fun and give people inspiration and motivation to go on and reach their goals in life. I want to be popular. I want to explore the world and meet different kinds of people.

     Of course If you want to reach and achieve your goals, you must work hard for it. You must learn to sacrifice and to accept failure.

     Early experience and early education is a good start. In my high school life, I want to be in the 1st rank in our class, from 2nd year high school to my fourth year in ICCS. I want to have an advance study for my course in medicine. I also need to develop and improve my English Grammar because I know it’s obviously needed for everyone of us, so we can express ourselves not only in our primary language but also in our secondary language which is English.

I had good plans for my course but how about for my passion? Since I love singing and playing piano, I joined the chamber chorus club in our school. Maybe being part of that club will let me improve and practice my singing skills. Aside from playing piano, I also want to learn other instruments like the guitar (I know how to play a few chords), violin, saxophone, flute and even drums.

     Life in college is a real challenge and pretty tougher than in high school and elementary. So I guess I should be focusing to what I need to study for my course and not what I WANT to study. That means turning your back on your strongest passion and that’s genuinely a hard thing to do. I really love music but sometimes it can have a bad impact on my education. I’ll end up like my brother. He’s 20 years old now and still hasn’t finished and graduated college. He spent his two years jamming with his friends going to party night outs and working with his band. He’s the lead guitarist, the composer and the vocalist of his band. Anyway, he should have focused on what he needed to do first.

     Having a perfect score in Biology exam and being able to sing in vibrato voice isn’t enough to reach these goals you’re aiming for. Friends are important. You need friend to support you and to love you, friends that will help you face challenges in life. You need friends that will share his/her snack with you if ever you forget to bring yours. It’s important for us to learn how to communicate with the public.

     Well, aside from friends, you need to know what is right and what is wrong. Cramming is the most common thing students do which results to low grades in school. Honestly, I always do that especially when I was in grade 6 and until my 1st year in high school. Now, I barely do that. Another thing that you should have is perseverance. Even though you have problems at home or something you think that would make you stop, no matter what, you need to persevere and continue your missions and tasks you’re doing. “Honesty is the best policy”. Everyone of us should practice honesty. Not only at school but in all places we are. It’s just because temptations make us do serious bad stuffs, like cheating. We all know that copying one’s answers are bad but we keep on doing it. That’s because we are always used to do it, if we know that we doing a bad thing, of course we should stop doing that and avoid making it a hobby of ours. One of a scientist’s attitudes is a positive outlook in life. We’re not scientist but we keeping this in our hearts and minds will definitely give us confidence and hope in anything that we do. No matter how big your problem is or how big your careless mistake is, don’t lose hope, trust yourself and have positive thoughts. Remember that the best way to solve a problem is through it.

     If I failed to reach these goals, maybe I should accept it and try to move on with it. It’s genuinely hard to accept failure but crying all day long would never help in that situation. I think I would just enjoy my life, relax for a while and hang out with my friends. Then, after I moved on, I think I’ll be looking for an easier and more suitable course for me. And I’ll still work on improving my skills in music. Maybe I’ll try something new, like learning how to cook well, learning a new sport, learning a new language or even taking ballet lessons. I think my life would be ok with that.
     Nothing bad will happen to my family since we have separate lives, but I think they’ll support me and keep on giving me guide and help in any problem I encounter.

     My life would definitely amazing if I succeed in reaching my dreams in life. I picture my husband carrying my daughter and me holding my son’s hand. I believe our life would be perfect since I had a good job. We’ll be living in another country, maybe in England or in Japan and we’ll be having our terrific house there. Then every a month or two, we’ll be visiting my parents. We’ll be having maids  and nanny in our house. And I’ll make sure my children will have a good education and hopefully, will not be a spoiled and lazy since we have maids and nanny taking care of them. I hope they would learn to work hard to achieve their dreams just like how successfully I reached it. I would definitely enjoy my job and I’ll maybe be having good friends, and I’ll hang out with them and shop with them. With this kind of successful life I think I would be the happiest women in the earth! I believe I would be more religious and trustworthy with God since he gave me almost all I wanted to have.

stuff i wrote when i was 12: aj rafael and friends

sorry for my poor writing skills... :)

AJ RAFAEL and FRIENDS

Do you know AJ Rafael?
My sister just discovered him in youtube. And I can surely tell he’s one of the youtube celebrities. We found him when we were looking for the official music video of Jason Mraz and Colbie Caliat singing “Lucky”. He was with his friend, Cathy Nguyen and they were doing a cover of Lucky. It was good. They got the correct harmonies and they were able to sing it very well which earned them millions of views.
So since I saw this Filipino Celebrity in youtube, I watched his videos where had known the circle of his friends. He sings with his different friends. Once I saw her sing with Lydia Paek then the next video, he’s doing a cover of “Anyone else but you” with Jess Delgado. I guess that’s because they were studying at the same college music school, something like that (I remembered he mentioned that in one of his videos…).

Anyway, Aj Rafael also writes his own songs. I totally liked the song he write with Jesse Barrera: “She was mine”. It was kind of Jason Mrazy style. I like the tune! And since I heard that song I’ve been singing it all the time and it had been stuck in my head. But I think Albert Posis and Mark Meija’s cover was the best. AJ also did a cover of his own song with Kallie Palm, with AJ using the piano. Until now I’ve been listening to this song while I’m doing assignment, reviewing or chatting with my friends. Even though it’s pretty tiring to hear it again and again I still love the song and I am so much thankful to AJ and Jesse for making this kind of melodic song.
Another song I liked was titled “I Just want you”. He composed this all by himself. This is also my favorite AJ song being next to the first one I mentioned. AJ composed many songs but not all were pretty good to me, but I’m not saying all of his other songs were truly bad. Some of them are just tiring to hear, but of course, his songs are not that awful.

AJ’s friends on youtube!
Lydia Paek
I’ve seen her singing “Chasing Pavements” with AJ and “I’m Yours” with AJ and his other friend (forgot the name of that guy). I remember her doll-like face, and her brunette hair. She always wear eyeliner. She has a strong voice and have a strong vibration when she is singing. She can still sing Chasing Pavements in spite of her sore throat. She’s not only a singer but a dancer. I didn’t saw her dance yet, but AJ mentioned Lydia dances too. Lydia’s funny and she laughs so loud and hard.

Jess Delgado
This girl is so charming. She had the perfect eyes, well-shaped lips, dainty nose and curly black hair. I know she’s don’t have that white American skin but her tan skin tone is perfect for her Asian-like face. Her voice is unique and obviously like Norah Jones’ voice. She don’t babble a lot. She’s more like the shy type.

Mark Meija
To be honest Mark sings the best among AJ’s friends (including him). He has a beautiful and heart-warming voice. He can control his voice. He’s Fil-Am and he once beaten the crowd’s favorite singer, David Archuleta when in “star search” when they were younger, making David as the second runner-up and him as the champ. He has his own youtube account (markster) and he appeared on their cover of “Everytime I close my eyes” with Albert Posis and AJ Rafael.
He also had a cover of “She was mine” with Albert Posis when they were having their slumber party at Albert’s house.

Cathy Nguyen
I don’t know if it’s Cathy or Kathy but anyway, Cathy was the one who sang with AJ in their cover of “Lucky” which became the best-loved cover of Jason and Colbie’s song. I’m not sure if she had her own band but I always saw her to be the vocalist in her videos.
She’s a cutie too. She looked like Vietnamese.

Albert Posis
This is Mark’s best buddy. He always do covers with Mark. Usually, you can see him holding the guitar when doing covers. He also plays piano. I don’t know If he’s a Filipino but describing what he looked like makes me think he’s one of us. Usually, Albert sings the high part when having duet and covers with his friends. He sounded like Mark in their popular cover “She was mine”! I can’t even distinguish their voices, I don’t know if Albert really sang the high part of the song. Albert’s funny and aggressive.

Jasmine
I forgot her surname!!!
This girl showed up in Miley’s music video of “7 things”. She’s the one holding the bulletin board. This girl is pretty, has long black waist-length hair and fair skin. She did a cover of “Can you feel the love tonight” and “A Whole new world” with AJ. I noticed she sounded like Beyonce when she sings low notes.
She has her own youtube channel but I forgot her username, but anyway, I watched her 2 other videos. The first one I watched, she sang Rihanna’s song (My memory fainted!), where she was recording it in her house (not sure). The other one was maybe in her concert. She sang “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys. Jasmine is charming and the shy type that I usually liked. I can tell she’s somewhat religious or had a mad love for God. When she was singing Alicia Keys’ song, instead of singing “If I Ain’t got you, baby” she said “If I Ain’t got you, Jesus”. I’m glad that there’s still someone like her who realizes it’s all because of Jesus why they became fortunate and lucky.

stuff i wrote when i was 12: KOREAN MOVIES

this was what i wrote when i was 12. please forgive my writing and grammar.

BABY AND I

"Baby and I" was a great funny movie. I watched it on crunchyroll.com, a video streaming website which was once recommended by my bestfriend. I wonder why it was titled as “Baby and Me”, since it should be “Baby and I”. That is why I kept having no results when i'm searching for it, luckily and unawarely, I found it's video with a picture of Jang Geun Suk and Moon Mason. I just seen this movie when I'm reading Jang Geun suk's biography, and I decided to check it out. I read it's summary in Wikipedia and I also watched it's trailer on Youtube. I thought it was funny so, I watched it. I just watched it because Jang Geun Suk's the main character there (I'm a huge fan of Jang Geun Suk). And then, wow! I can say it's a really good movie, and it's funnier than I expected.

I wonder who the girls were, the girls that appeared on the beginning of the movie. They're all sexy and gorgeous! I like the girl wearing black shorts, I can see her smooth and slim legs... wish they were mine. And the girl in the red dress was so pretty, she was licking her ice cream. The foreigner was just okay, but I more prefer to Korean girls!

Jang Geun Suk had a big role in “Baby and I”. He was a rowdy and disobedient student who came from a rich family. Jang Geun Suk was the only child of her parents and he’s not genuinely interested in girls. Jang Geun Suk was the perfect choice of such character. He acted very well, and he impressed me.

I like the role of Kim Byeol, and also the way she acts. Kim Byeol was a new student, who before, stopped her studying because of some reason. She was incredibly smart, smart enough to scare away her teachers. She’s so cute acting like a innocent, brainac girl.


Jenny-Juno

Jenny Juno was my best favorite romantic Korean movie. This is about a high school boy and a high school girl who have been a couple since they met in the school. Juno was a transferrer from other school, the girls in their school was crazy about him. Jenny was the president of the class and she ranked fifth in Academics.

It was one day, when Jenny realizes that she's pregnant. But unfortunately, when Juno learned that Jenny's having a baby, he stopped talking to her, he always ignored her, he was not sitting beside her anymore and he was not like before. Jenny became angry at Juno for she thinks he'll neglect Jenny and he'll not uphold the baby for Jenny. She then told Juno that if she'll win arm fight with Juno, he'll follow and obey everything Jenny told him, but if Juno wins, he'll be the boss. As Jenny won the game, she commanded Juno that from now on he'll be talking to her every time and he'll be sitting beside her.
Jenny and Juno had a hard and happy time together keeping the baby healthy in Jenny's womb. They were so sweet that there was times like, Juno gives Jenny fruits everyday, he comes to her house whenever she feels sick and even it's too late. They tried hard to hide it from parents because they were afraid that they might separate both of them and much worse, abort or give the child to anyone.

Unfortunately, one day, while Jenny was in the Comfort Room her sister saw how big her stomach is and suspiciously found out that she was pregnant. The problem now was the reaction of their parents and what would they do about their baby. Jenny and Juno confessed to their parents and told them that they want to keep their baby.

SHE IS ON DUTY

She is On Duty is my second-ranked best action Korean film. Starring Kim Seon-ah as a police detective, Jae-In and Gong Yoo as her partner, No-Young, Jae-In is an undercover high school girl that was assigned to befriends with Seung-Hee, the daughter of the murderer Cha. This movie made me laugh so hard. I love the action scenes in this movie especially the part when Jae-In teams up with No-Young to beat those bastards.

Actually, I watched this movie so I can be entertained while I’m doing my exercise. That was actually the purpose why I’m watching Korean movies. I mean, it’s so difficult when you’re pushing and exerting too much effort in doing

....uhmm i guess i wasn't able to finish it

ng

Why I like to go homestudying when I was a junior

I just found this stuff on one of my folders when I was cleaning and so, I decided to put this up on my blog because this says a lot about my personality and my past. I don't want it to just throw away so...

I made this last year because I want to convince my mom and dad to let me go homeschooling. It's also a rant of my High School and on the last parts were about what I like to do and what type of person I want to be. I'm sure you'll know more about me when you read this

OH i forgot, it's in Filipino Language! haha sorry ^_^

but i'll edit this soon

SA CURRENT SKUL KO

• ayoko nang magtiis para lang makapagaral ng mga lessons na di ko naman alam kung dapat ba talaga pag-aralan
• gusto ko ung curriculum ng Philippine Science High School, our school's curriculum sucks!
• ayoko ng CLE, kse puro common sense lang nman ung tinuturo, sabi nga ni Brother Dave, nung once, nagsub siya sa amin, dapat daw tinuturo sa amin ung sacraments, tama nga naman! Ung mga tinuturo kse sa amin "Human Person as Created by God", "Human Person as Beloved", blahblahblah, pwede naman pag-aralan namin un ng isang bagsakan lang, winewaste pa ung class periods sa kakadiscuss nito eh common sense naman. Kung ako lang teacher sa CLE Bible Study na lng o kaya ung tungkol sa Revelation, common sense lang naman ung mga tinuturo namin ngayon sa CLE eh, katulad nung steps in forming a conscience tsaka ung meaning ng Freedom na pinapakabisado at pinapagawan pa ng play sa amin. I can have my own damn steps in forming a conscience tsaka own meaning of freedom, ndi naman dapat kinakabisado un eh, kse iba-iba ang meaning ng freedom sa bawat tao at iba-iba rin ung paraan namin sa pagfoform ng conscience. altho it helps us reflect more but again we shouldn't be memorizing all these stuff!
• ayoko ng paulit-ulit na topic and lessons sa lahat ng subject,
• katulad sa TLE, for 3 years na ako nagtatahi na mga bwiset na stich na yan, pati yang mga definition, uses, description ng stiching materials, yang mga thimble, pinking shears.. etc. Laging meron yan kapag papagaralan mo ung TLE, importante nga un, pero di ba, ndi namn kami tanga na dapat paulit-ulit ung tinuturo? ah ok, the reason for that,  kaya paulit-ulit yung tinuturo para matandaan namin? hay nako, makakalimutan din naman namin yan kapag nagraduate na kami, pustahan magtanong ka ng alumni, tanung mo sa kanya kung pano satin stich, sasabihin niya "nakalimutan ko na eh, naalala ko lng dun ung running stich tsaka basting stich eh (which are like so fucking easy to memorize)!" ang dapat lng naman dyan ung experience eh!
• tapos ung isa pa ung lessons namin sa Physical Education, ung Fundamental Arm and Feet Position na hindi naman masyado importante, parati yan pinapakabisado sa amin. Tapos ung music din, paulit-ulit ung pagpapakabisado sa amin ng different instrument ng iba't ibang bansa, pero hanggang ngayon , ung instrument lang na "buktot" at "faglong" naalala ko at mga kaklase ko, nakalimutan ko pa kung ano itsura nun. 1st to 3rd year high school, yun lang ginawa namin 
• the main reason why I hate our Music subject kasi puro na names LANG ung tinuturo namin, never kami tinuruan tumugtog ng piano, violin, flute, o kaya kung pano magbasa ng mga nota (although tinuro ng unti lang sa amin yun), which is dapat yun talaga yung tinuturo sa music (duh, that's why u call it music!) di katulad ng ibang schools, may flute lessons o kahit anung instrument na lessons para sa mga students. Eh, ano naman mangyayari kung sa instrument name lang kami expert?? well, ganito mangyayari dyan 

"ui Marianne di ba marami kang alam na instrument... ano tawag dito?"

"ah, buktot yan, tapos ung isa fagong yung tawag"

"ui, ang galing mo naman, kabisado mo, tugtugan mo naman kami!"

"sorry, di ko alam kung pano tugtugin yan eh, alam ko lang yung pangalan, YUN LANG"

"ngek, tanga naman nito, alam nga pangalan, ndi naman alam kung pano tugtugin"

• tapos yung sa Physical Education namin, ang corny kse imbis, volleyball, basketball, badminton at kung anu-anong sports ung tinuturo sa amin, Asian Dances yung tinuturo or yung mga steps na redoba, polka..etc ung tinuturo sa amin! ndi naman kailangan yun sa buhay natin eh, yung dace para sa Pilipinas, oo kailangan, pero yung pang-ibang bansa, di dapat, and kung dance lang din ituturo sa amin, bakit ndi na lang ung pang ballroom which is mas useful pa, pwede pa tayo sumali sa mga contest tapos mapapanalo natin. Sige, try mo mag-aral ng Thailand Dance o Indonesian Dance, hanap ka ng partner mo kung interesado sila, tapos sali kayo sa Talentadong Pinoy, tignan natin kung mananalo kayo.. aantukin lang naman siguro yung judges sa inyo. 
• tapos naiinis din ako sa English namin. alam ko kailangan yung history of Literature sa bawat Bansa, pero hindi sana yun ung finofocus natin sa English Subject. Nauubos kasi yung time sa mga bagay na hindi naman ganon ka importante. Kailangan natin yun, pero hindi dapat iniispare yung buong 1st and 2nd quarter para lang dun. Mas importante pa yung grammar, mas importante pa yung reading comprehension, at ung public speaking. at dahil sa history lang naman din yung inaaral natin, bakit hindi na lang din yung styles ng literature or kung pano ung ginagawa yung praktisin natin? 
• ayoko rin ung bibili ng bokos na hindi naman gagamitin, TIME CONSUMING, GASTOS PA! bakit ko nasabi na time consuming? ganito kasi style ng ibang teachers
• magpapakopya sila ng sobrang haba na notes, halos 3 pages, tapos ndi naman ididiscuss
• for like 3 periods ung nasasayang sa kakakopya ng notes eh pwede naman i-xero na lang or can i say, pwede naman SA LIBRO NA LANG BUMASE, AT UNG LIBRO ANG GAMITIN!
• tsaka ayoko na magtiis para lang magawa ko un gmga gusto kong gawin
• pano ko nasabi na nagtitiis ako? kse tinitipid ko ung tim para lang magawa ko gusto ko.
• sobra na ako naging time conscious na kahit paglaro ko sa kapatid ko o pagusap ko sa mga kaibigan ko INOORASAN ko na
• at lagi akong nagmumultitask para lang matipid yun oras, yun para bang (it's true that i've had done/have been doing all of these)
• naglilinis ng kwarto habang nagmememoriz ng multiplication table
• o kya gumagawa ng assignment habang nakikinig sa teacher (napagalitan pa nga ako nito eh)
• kinakausap sa phone yung kagroupmate sa CLE habang nagreresearch ng history ni nostra damus, habang nagppakulo ng tubig para may kape
• at pati yung tulog ko, which is pinakamasakit at pinakamahirap, sinasacrifice ko pa para lang dito
• gumagawa pa nga ako ng tips to stay awake which are like 5 or 7 pages
• tapos may technique pa nga ako (kapag ndi gumagana ung kape) na paglalagay ng ice cubes sa binti/legs ko para lang magising, tapos pinapahid ko pa yun sa katawan ko
• o kaya sinasampal ko na lang sarili ko para magising
• pati yung mga party at gimik ndi na ako pumupunta
• kapag niyayaya ako ng mga kaibigan ko namag-gateway o mamasyal, NO agad sagot ko, which is sobrang sakit, kse best friends ko sila, tapos ndi ko na sila maxado nakakausap
• kapag may party sa family ko dinadala ko na lng ung mga libro ko tapos imbis na nagsasaya ako dun o nakikipagkwentuhan sa mga pinsan ko, gumagawa ako ng noli me tangere, pinipilit ko na lang namagfocus kahit mamamatay sa inggit
• tapos kapag may reunion kami nung mga elementary na kaklase ko, ndi na ako pumupunta kahit super miss ko na sila, super miss ko na bestfriend ko, teacher ko na nagalaga sa akin, pati yung mga kaaway ko dati. tinatanggihan ko na lang kasi ayoko mawaste yung time ko. kaya yun since march 2009 ndi na kami nagkita

now that i had told you all of the things i don't like about the school, and what sacrifice i give up just to have time for everything, now i'll tell you why i've been a time conscious person and what exactly are the things that i want to do on my spare time (mga naipong oras)

why i value time so much that i have to sacrifice important things in my life for making time

• kasi perfectionist at achiever ako
• at dahil perfectionist at achiever ako, marami akong pangarap, marami akong gustong gawin, marami akong gustong iimprove, marami akong gustong pagtuunan ng pansin
• why do i need to sacrifice some of the important things in my life? well that a fucking simple question, that's because 3/4 ng time ng buhay ko napupunta sa skul, thats PRIMARILY WHY I DON'T LIKE SCHOOL AND I LOVE VACATIONS, 1/4 naman ng time ko sa needs ko kaya singit-singit na lang ung time for improvement.. tsk,..
• my promise ako sa sarili ko na before i graduate, i will be that, i will do that and blablabla pero parang wala din nangyayari kaya i really need to achieve and accomplish these, kasi matagal ko na ito pinangarap, kaso yun nga, WALA AKONG TIME..

what exactly is my ideal life? what type of person would i want to be? what are the things that i need to achieve?

• i wanna be super smart
• yung tipong manonosebleed ka sa mga sinasabi ko katulad ni kevs, tapos ung parang scientist na kahit high school palaang gumagamit na ng microscope, nageexperimento na ng mga acid, parang si jimmy neutron!
• o kaya ung tipong kabisado na kung saan makikita sa map ung mga bansa na ganito, bansa na ganyan at di mo na kailangan magsearch sa net o magbasa sa library kasi may kaklase ka na na magsasabi sau tungkol sa historical backgrond ng kung anu-anung bansa
• o kaya ung tipong henyo sa math, o parang buhay na calculator na kapag tinanong ng teacher "what is the supplement of 90", and i'll be like "90-x" and my classmates will be like hell yeah thats wut u call smart!
• o kya naman ung parang walking dictionary o thesaurus naman na pagtinanong mo na "ui, ano ibig sabihin ng heronyms" o "anu ibig sabihin ng word na chintziest at potpourri" tapos makakasagot ka agad
• o ung super talinong bata na hindi xa ung natututo kundi ung teacher nya ung tinuturuan nya
• yun yung mga tipong gusto ko
• i wanna be a good singer
• dati ko pa pangarap e2
• gusto ko kasi maging singer ng kahit anong style, i am a music lover. kaya i like to be a rock singer, jazz, pop or country singer at kahit opera singer
• i wanna learn different types of music instruments
• gusto ko maging kasing galing ni sungha jung sa guitar/fingerstyling
• gusto ko maging kasing galing ni akiko suwanai sa violin
• gusto ko maging kasing galing ni jay chou sa piano
• gusto ko rin matuto ng flute, harp at saxophone!! and drums pa pla
• and it's one of my dreams din to be in a orchestra
• i wanna be more athletic
• i wanna be a good volleyball player, badminton, table tennis, tennis player 
• basta i wanna be more athletic
• i wanna live an organized life
• gusto ko maging maayos
• gusto ko magkaroon ng time for everything, for my family, for my friends and for myself

and what will i do to accomplish them? eh di fucking work and train for it! kaso nga kasi wala akong time at sabi ko nga 3/4 of my time is wasted for myschool.. and that's the main thing i'm a time conscious person

and that you already knew a lot of things about me, my dynamic personality and my dreams, next i'll tell you what things stop me from chasing my dreams. in other words, time wasters (in exact detail!

shitty things that i need to do FOR SCHOOL but don't want to do

• assignments
• advance review - kaso parating epic fail e2ng mga efforts ko sa pagrereview, kse mostly ndi lumalabas sa quiz or ndi nman pala ididisuss ng teacher ko
• umattend sa mga group projects and blablabla

i do all these everyday! and i shittingly can't escape from it 

here are things that I WANT TO DO by myself, to accomplish my goals and make my dreams come trueeeeeeee... BUT CAN'T DO IT!

1. i want to study so hard!!!
• i wanna read novels, read and study school books, college books, read articles
• i wanna see documentary videos
• i wanna learn more about, arithmetic, biology, chemistry, physics, biochemistry, 
• i want to get ready for college!!!
• i wanna read and study an encyclopedia all day and all night long
2. i want to practice and train my talents
• i wanna play piano and learn to read notes by myself
• i wanna train my voice, with the vocal lessons i got from youtube
• i wanna play guitar 
3. i want to exercise everyday
• for health purposes
• for body toning 
• for improving agility, strength, endurance, flexibility skills
• stress fighting and etc...
4. have a healthy lifestyle
• i wanna sleep more! kse mas humuhusay utak ko kapag natutulog ako ng mabuti, nakakapag memorize ako at mas resistant ako sa sickness. at hindi na ako gagastos ng coffee para makapagpuyat
• i wanna do yoga and concentration at least 5 minutes everyday
• i wanna clean my room and be more organized
• i wanna have time for my friends, family and myself
• i wanna have time for break and relaxation
• i wanna help in doing household  chores
• i wanna have time for God and time to attend mass

and the only way to get to that point, to have time to do these things are 1.) vacations and 2.)sacrifice to have time ad 3.) home studying!! that's why i like to go home studying because vacations are too short, and i want it now!, sacrifices are too painful, home studying is definitely perfect for me.

benefits of home studying, time comparison between going to school and home studying

so let me tell you about home studying.. and compare it with regular schooling, let's start with the positive ones

1. in home studying, you have a lot of time to do anything, in regular schooling you barely have time for anything.. only 1/4 of my time is spent with home studying and 3/4 is spent with regular  schooling. AND I OBVIOUSLY FUCKING NEED TIME TO work on my improvements..
2. in home studying you dont have to travel so, that's 0 minutes for traveling, but with regular schooling, you need to wake up early morning and keep up with everyday traffic which is like 60-120 minutes a day!
3. in regular schooling you fucking spend more than 30 minutes for eating, 10 minutes getting to the canteen area, 10 minutes buying food, thronging in the line, bumping students, 5 minutes eating, 5 minutes bathroom time.. but if u're at home u don't have to do all that crappy things. u just get ur fuckin food, fucking eat it in fucking 5 mnutes
4. in regular schooling 60 minutes is wasted copying notes that sometimes aren't discuss in the class and just written in ur notebook for nothing.. it takes a lot of weeks to master a chapter and  a week for the assessment, im not blaming the school for this, because it's the usual routine and of course we are in groups. but in home studying you have more than 12 hours to focus on subjects you WANT to study, you can master a chapter in a week and have assessment less than an hour.. huge difference.
5. in regular schooling it doesnt mean that if u're outside the school, you won't be doing anything related to school, on weekends, i still need to go to my classmates houses and do group works with them, after school, sometimes i am obliged to go to my classmates house to practice for something and that makes me go home late.. but with home studying, you wont be doing anything like that.. because you fucking own your time

 problems with home studying and how do i deal with them

of course, there's always two sides of a coin but i do know how to deal with them. so here are my problems and my ways on dealing with them

1. problem: i may miss some lessons that high school students are required to take. solution: well that's a simple problem, i can just ask my classmates what they are learning or just look up on the net the curriculum of Philippine Science High School and study them all by myself
2. problem: i may lost my friends and only have few friends in the future. solution: social networking, parties every friday night, meet new friends in new school.
3. problem: i might lose my talent in singing at baka ndi na ako makasali sa concert. solution: join hail mary the queen children's choir, better choirmaster, better concerts (in other countries pa!), better vocalizations..

i know i'll not be 100% successful, because i admit, sometimes, i mess up 

1. dahil aaminin ko may mali din ako, naglalaro at naadik din ako sa games, sinasayang ko din oras ko sa games
• kaya nga nagdodownload ako ng kung anu-anong web filter para lang mablock ung mga games sites DI BA?
• kaya nga nagpapalagay ako ng passowrd sa mga gumagamit sa computer ara ndi ako makapasok sa free pass o may internet access an account nyo
• kse ung account ko puro nakablock ung game sites, tapos tinatago ko na lng ung password sa CD para ndi ako matempt na i-unblock ung mga game sites

c'mon just imagine that....

that's all for homestudying!! this was made directly to address my dad and mom because they asked for it. although they still didnt agree and i changed my mind because there will be problems with my college life and my dad said i wont be accepted in college if i was homeschooled and all that. i wasnt just really sure for it thats why i didn't continue and begged for my parents to get me to homeschooling. i just dealt with my problems..... 'cause if there's one thing i won't sacrifice for this plan, that is my college life (and of course family, God, etc)