TWO CLICKS - THE LINK AND LIKE

if you do this, you'll 2 times better.  and i will pray for you
1. click the link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=386QJN1U-7o&feature=g-upl
2. like the video

this is for tim urban's music video competition for his newly released song, Someday!

THANKS Y'ALLLLL

I still don't get it

A year ago, I convinced my parents to get me to homeschooling. The reason is "I need time". The reason sounds simple but it isn't. I told my damn parents that I want to study more subjects and books that aren't taught in my stupid school, that's why I need more time. They didn't understand what I said simply because they don't value time and the importance of this 'something' called SCIENCE. They just think that as long as I'm going to school and doing my job, I'm getting smarter.

I know, some of you would think the same.
Like, why would this girl want to study other books? That's why we have school to study subjects, enough is enough.
I want to be a doctor you uncle fucking idiot.
why is she hurrying? She's only in high school, there's time for everything.
I want to be a DOCTOR, I'm in 3rd year high school (that time) and still have a 5th grade knowledge about Geology, Biology, Chemistry and Physics. I haven't studied other subjects related to Biology. Now, can you tell me how good will my future be if I'm still stuck with zero knowledge? Holy moly.
why won't she just appreciate her school and get the most out of it? 
First, I'm doing my best in my school so I can go to a good university. So yeah, I making the most out of it. I don't appreciate my school because it is not Science oriented and the curriculum sucks (which i'll elaborate later in this post).
why would this girl go homeschooling just to study books? Can't see why you can't add it to your daily routine.
My teachers kept us busy with not so important activities which make me unable to do them. Weekdays, I wake up 5 am (or earlier than 5 to cram), prepare myself and get to school. I go home, for like, 5 pm and do my  100 list of assignments, from the time 'I got home' (5 pm) to the time when 'everybody's sleeping' (10 or 11 pm), which consumes my suppose-to-be-having-rest time. Weekends-school projects, crying and hating my life, rest/entertainment time and yes, that's when I have my time for studying other books which is less than like fucking 5 hours.
you're a superhero, you should be able to do this.
i'm broke and i don't have a fucking suit on!

I admit I have my fault as well. I should have studied earlier, I should have done those on vacation days and I should have get myself into a Science-oriented School. I didn't study earlier and on vacation days because, those times, I was enjoying my teen life. Like what other 99% teens do. I wasn't able to get myself into a Science-oriented School because I suck in Science. All these happen because I wasn't focused to my studies back then, and that's past, we can never change it. Now, I made a huggeeeeee mistake and I want to fix it. I would rather find ways to fix that than to wait for the perfect time. Fortune won't just come on my door knocking, if I don't act now.

"Success doesn't come to you... you go get it."

Wait til your 20

Today, I'm so upset. I don't even know what upset exactly means, maybe something like disappointed, and if it does mean that, I'm more than upset, I'm DEPRESSED!!!!!

SKIN CARE PRODUCTS

I spent nearly 1000 pesos buying a exfoliating scrub, whitening lotion, waxing kit, sunscreen and I thought I would be happy after buying them. I bought the St. Ives apricot exfoliating scrub. I haven't tried it yet but i guess it's good to have that, the Nivea sunscreen and lip balm. What's so depressing and surprising is that I bought this Amira Magic Skin Whitening Lotion (supposedly the cream is what I would buy), then just a moment ago I read from the internet that it has carcinogen content which causes cancer! I also bought Epilin waxing kit, (supposedly the Strip It! waxing kit, but the stores are closed and this is the only good one i can buy) and tried it on my underarm. Since I was new to waxing myself/at home I find it hard to get all the hair out of my underarm. It took me 3 times to heat up the wax so it would stick on my underarm. I don't even know if the temperature I'm setting on the microwave is right, because it only has 350 degrees and up indicated, so i just based it on the how hot the wax went. I searched for tutorial in the internet for Epilin, but I only found waxing tutorial for Strip It! wax, and in that video, I saw how hairless and clean the girl's arm became, and it really made me regret buying Epilin over Strip it! just for time and place reasons. In short, I wasted nearly 500 pesos buying shit that i won't find useful anymore! or even consider using it.

There's a few more things I want to buy for my skin. I want to get that Strip it waxing kit, an aloe vera gel for waxing, new whitening product - this time it's bee-luscious whitening cream, a cleanser and a moisturizer. I want to buy all of those because it leaves me satisfied and confident that I'll have better skin in terms of tone, texture and overall appearance. The problem is just I don't fucking have enough money!!!! each product costs around 200 pesos! and where the hell would i get that? sure, i have that much money on my bank, but I have to hold myself and remind me of my priorities  because i need to buy more important stuff than these. So yeah, I guess I just wait til I have my job and earn lots of money. Just wait til i'm fun sucking 20!

WORKOUT CLOTHES AND RUNNING SHOES

The more important stuff I was talking about, besides my new clothes for my college life, are WORKOUT CLOTHES and RUNNING SHOES. For every runner, it's a must to have a good running shoes, at least 2 pairs, so you can switch/use them alternately, and good workout clothes with good fabric, to keep your sweat condition ok. So, what I did was I searched for tips on buying running shoes and workout clothes on the internet.I found out that good running shoes are those branded ones (adidas, brooks, saucony) which are like 4000 pesos for each pair!!! The workout clothes were the same, I searched for Dryfit and coolmax and it was around 1500 pesos, although I found one labeled as drifit (on sulit.com.ph), I don't know if its misspelled or what, but it's just 150. That's for short and top. So I made up my mind and decided that I'll just buy new rubber shoes costing at least, around P1000 and workout clothes not less than P1000. But again since I wasted my money over that damn skin products I have to sacrifice the money left (P500 something) for my college necessities! 

And, you know, besides that, I want to workout in the gym, but I don't have guts to do that! I have zero knowledge about anything on the gym and I get insecure just thinking about going there, even when jogging, I still get insecure.

It's just all about the MONEY and having self confidence.. in other words (again).. BEING 20!

CONFIDENCE TO TALK WITH AWESOME PEOPLE

Now this one, I know it has nothing, totally, to do with money. It's more of confidence and talking experience. 

A moment ago, I went on tim urban's facebook page. There's some contest he's putting up there.

It says you have to make a music video for his song to be released, entitled "Someday" and whoever got the most views, likes and whichever he thinks fits the song/he best liked will win a free skype chat with Tim. The thing that caught me here is the prize.. >>  A FREE SKYPE CHAT WITH TIM?? << omg, that would be my best day ever if i won that.! problem: i don't have the talent, equipment, confidence, money, time, back up people to do that! what the hell, if only i was 20 when, I'll probably have built my talents and gained confidence, had my own job and m$ney, and trustworthy friends that would help me anytime.... IF ONLY!!! then i would have joined that competition and won a free chat with tim urban. DANG.!

and even if I was able to join this, now, and won. I won't still have the full confidence to have a live chat with tim urban. C'mon, I can't speak straight in English, I don't know what else to talk with Tim, and I don't know Tim Urban's interests, maybe sports, I don't know the frickin hell anything about sports (UGGHH what a loser me), so what are we supposed to talk about? If ever I had to have chat with him, right now, with this face on, with this anti-social attitude on, it would be hell terrible!!!! It would be awkward and boring. ugh. If only I was more confident and richer! IF ONLY I WAS TWENTY YEARS OLD!!

stuff i wrote when i was 12: senior moments

I'm totally not inspired. And I HATE IT. 
    Ever since I overstudied last weekend in my subjects, i lost my inspiration to do everything I must do. I guess my brain got stressed, but my body's still forcing me to study. 


    And it's Sunday and I'm still not 100% inspired and motivated to do studying... It's just that, how much effort I give in studying, how much sacrifice I made, the consequences are all the same. And I don't like the results, I'm not satisfied with a grade of seven over ten. I have so many problems and I don't even know where to start!


    Ok. Let's just start with that stupid "senior moments". I had this forgettable memory of mine since the first week of August. I'm having problems with my friends, problems with my studies and with my mom and dad. Imagine misplacing an object that you just used 20 minutes ago, and even forgetting the next cycle of Light Reaction taught by your teacher 3 hours ago. I even studied that at home! But still, the day Ms. Madrid taught that to us, after 2 periods, I forgot some part of them... 
    
    Am I having Alzheimer's disease?


    No. 


    Just senior moments. But it's mind-bugging! I remeber that day when I advance studied on each subject (but I wasn't able to finish it because that was the day I lost my inspiration and motivation), then the next 2 days, which was Monday, I forgot some of them. Especially on our MAPEH class, my teacher was asking us about what Physical Fitness and its components are and I didn't have my copy so I was like, "Hey, can I borrow your notebook please!!" And my seatmate, who happens to be my crush (but that's when we were in first year), was like *ignore* *ignore*. He just raise his hand not minding and not even looking at me. So, I just tried to remember what i memorized but nothing came out. 


     My other problem was, I know you didn't expect this, but my suitors. I mean, I like my suitors, I like the fact that someone's still attracted with me, and someone had the gut to put my name on his jersey but I don't want them calling me 12:00 midnight just to talk about nothing. There was 2 of them who keep calling me "mahal". It was J%#$%#$^ and R#$@#$.  J%#$%#$^  was the first one to ask my hand and the first one whom I fell in love with. I am just so-easy-to-get that in the first month of my suitor's courtship I easily fell in love with him. 


ugh.. reading this now (2012) makes me puke

stuff i wrote when i was 12: MONDAY SHOULD BE NO CLASSES

ok, this is another thing i wrote 2 years ago, so sorry if i sound like an idiot when i was talking about my suitors (see number 4), i 'censored' the names of the guys i was (i wont say my suitors) involved with.. just to be careful.. 


just forgive my thoughts, this was 2 years ago!

MONDAY SHOULD BE NO CLASSES
                     
        I really expected that Monday would be no classes, well, because of the SONA. I have so much to do! I have so much to study. I just want to change my life.

         J#$&% was the first one to tell me there would be no classes on Monday. I already planned my schedule and hoped I can do that but, all of a sudden, on 23rd of July my classmate told be there would be classes on Monday since were not affected by it. Kevin informed us that only those schools near the Commonwealth would have no classes, he even waited for our school name to appear but he didn’t saw it. I didn’t believed him at first until our teacher announced and confirmed that were would classes on Monday. I was nearly crying when I heard the announcement but I just told myself that I can study in two days… But can you imagine it? Two days!!!

I’m so stressed these days because of the quizzes, because of my friends and other stuffs. I wasn’t been having a good and long sleep since Monday. I was planning to study at night and limit my sleeping time to two to three hours. But the result was bad. It was very different from what I expected. Instead of 6 subjects I just studied Biology. I didn’t have time to focus on other subjects and I wasn’t able to follow my schedule. Well, that’s because of some “important” reasons…
1.   Assignments… I have a lot of tasks to do!
2.   Chat with me ‘till dawn. It’s one of my temptations.
3.   My piano. This is my greatest temptations, whenever I saw my piano smiling at me it tempts me to play it. So, I spend like 50 minutes playing my keyboard..
4.   My suitors. The fact is I already have three suitors. But all in all there were six guys who had been having a crush on me.  The first one was J*%^#$%, which is one of my suitors, he’s been liking me since R#^#@$% was my boyfriend. The second one was J#$&%*. After the courtship with E%#^*&, now, he’s wooing with me. And, R#%^& was my last suitor, he didn’t directly asked me that but J%$#%#$%#$ told it to me.  J#$&%*  and R#%^& definitely don’t have the chance but I’m not sure with J*%^#$% since I dealt with him that after one year of his courtship I promised him what he wanted, and that is me, to be his girlfriend. M%$#^&*% is not my suitor since he already have his girlfriend but there was a day that he told me that he has a crush on me but that was sort of idolizing me. The other one was A^&#%%@, he’s not my suitor too but since I was in first year high school he’s showing me signs that he liked me. I’m not sure with this one but A%#$%#$ do told me that J&$@ P#*@ has a crush on me. He “Type ka daw ni J&$@ P#*@.”, but I guess I just didn’t heard clearly who he’s talking about because  J&$@ P#*@  has been asking about L^%& these days. If I were to choose which of them would be ok to be my boyfriend I think I’ll choose  J&$@ P#*@ .. He’s super cute, cheerful, serious, stick to one, and understanding. Definitely the kind of guy I like.
5.   Sleepiness. The worst cause of my disobedience in following the schedule was being sleepy. Every night when I study for like 4 minutes I always get sleepy and so, I rest my head and after waking up from a sudden and unexpected sleep I realize I just consumed 2 hours! It gets worse every night. I can’t even understand what I am studying. The bad thing was I always drink coffee to stay awake but I end up realizing it’s already 4:20 and I had slept without accomplishing my assignment or my jobs. I also know that coffee is extremely dangerous especially for teens like me.
6.   Ruined Thursday. It’s all my mom’s fault why I wasn’t able to study the following night. She thought I was the one sleeping on the lower bed and so she didn’t woke me up. So she woke up at 4:00 am realizing that it was my father who had been sleeping that night. I got very angry at her.
I know that some of my so-important reasons are not really important but it doesn’t mean that I should be very strict with myself.

stuff i wrote when i was 12: My Goals in Life

My Goals in Life

     I have so many goals in life. When I was young I wanted to be a doctor. When I was like 8 years old, my grandpa was sick, which made me decide that someday I’ll be a doctor and will cure and help people with their sickness no matter how much effort I should exert. Until now, I still wanted to be a doctor. The lachrymose story of Aya Ikeuchi (one litre of tears) strengthens my inspiration to become a doctor. I want to be a doctor that will make the incurable, curable, a doctor that will end the spread of dreaded disease and a doctor that will give hope to each and everyone of its patient.

     Other than being a doctor I also want to be a Lawyer. Most of my uncles and aunts are in this line of profession. I want to help people with their problems and solve different cases. I know being a Lawyer is a real challenge to me since I don’t know much anything about Law. I really love this job and I think having my uncle and aunt’s guide will make it a lot easier for me to pass board exams.

     It may seem strange for me since I’m not that active in dancing or modeling (such stuffs), but I also dreamt to be a singer & pianist, model and popular actress someday in my twenties. Probably, I was inspired by our Miss Universe 2008, Dayana Mendoza, since she was confident, smart, obviously beautiful and she always remained poised under pressure. Another thing that inspired was compliments and support my teachers gave me when I was in grade 4-6. They keep telling me that being a model is suitable for me since I had that perfect “Pinay beauty” they were talking about. My strongest passion may be my passion for music. I love anything that includes music and I believe that’s why I want to be a singer and pianist or any instrumentalist. I just want to have fun and give people inspiration and motivation to go on and reach their goals in life. I want to be popular. I want to explore the world and meet different kinds of people.

     Of course If you want to reach and achieve your goals, you must work hard for it. You must learn to sacrifice and to accept failure.

     Early experience and early education is a good start. In my high school life, I want to be in the 1st rank in our class, from 2nd year high school to my fourth year in ICCS. I want to have an advance study for my course in medicine. I also need to develop and improve my English Grammar because I know it’s obviously needed for everyone of us, so we can express ourselves not only in our primary language but also in our secondary language which is English.

I had good plans for my course but how about for my passion? Since I love singing and playing piano, I joined the chamber chorus club in our school. Maybe being part of that club will let me improve and practice my singing skills. Aside from playing piano, I also want to learn other instruments like the guitar (I know how to play a few chords), violin, saxophone, flute and even drums.

     Life in college is a real challenge and pretty tougher than in high school and elementary. So I guess I should be focusing to what I need to study for my course and not what I WANT to study. That means turning your back on your strongest passion and that’s genuinely a hard thing to do. I really love music but sometimes it can have a bad impact on my education. I’ll end up like my brother. He’s 20 years old now and still hasn’t finished and graduated college. He spent his two years jamming with his friends going to party night outs and working with his band. He’s the lead guitarist, the composer and the vocalist of his band. Anyway, he should have focused on what he needed to do first.

     Having a perfect score in Biology exam and being able to sing in vibrato voice isn’t enough to reach these goals you’re aiming for. Friends are important. You need friend to support you and to love you, friends that will help you face challenges in life. You need friends that will share his/her snack with you if ever you forget to bring yours. It’s important for us to learn how to communicate with the public.

     Well, aside from friends, you need to know what is right and what is wrong. Cramming is the most common thing students do which results to low grades in school. Honestly, I always do that especially when I was in grade 6 and until my 1st year in high school. Now, I barely do that. Another thing that you should have is perseverance. Even though you have problems at home or something you think that would make you stop, no matter what, you need to persevere and continue your missions and tasks you’re doing. “Honesty is the best policy”. Everyone of us should practice honesty. Not only at school but in all places we are. It’s just because temptations make us do serious bad stuffs, like cheating. We all know that copying one’s answers are bad but we keep on doing it. That’s because we are always used to do it, if we know that we doing a bad thing, of course we should stop doing that and avoid making it a hobby of ours. One of a scientist’s attitudes is a positive outlook in life. We’re not scientist but we keeping this in our hearts and minds will definitely give us confidence and hope in anything that we do. No matter how big your problem is or how big your careless mistake is, don’t lose hope, trust yourself and have positive thoughts. Remember that the best way to solve a problem is through it.

     If I failed to reach these goals, maybe I should accept it and try to move on with it. It’s genuinely hard to accept failure but crying all day long would never help in that situation. I think I would just enjoy my life, relax for a while and hang out with my friends. Then, after I moved on, I think I’ll be looking for an easier and more suitable course for me. And I’ll still work on improving my skills in music. Maybe I’ll try something new, like learning how to cook well, learning a new sport, learning a new language or even taking ballet lessons. I think my life would be ok with that.
     Nothing bad will happen to my family since we have separate lives, but I think they’ll support me and keep on giving me guide and help in any problem I encounter.

     My life would definitely amazing if I succeed in reaching my dreams in life. I picture my husband carrying my daughter and me holding my son’s hand. I believe our life would be perfect since I had a good job. We’ll be living in another country, maybe in England or in Japan and we’ll be having our terrific house there. Then every a month or two, we’ll be visiting my parents. We’ll be having maids  and nanny in our house. And I’ll make sure my children will have a good education and hopefully, will not be a spoiled and lazy since we have maids and nanny taking care of them. I hope they would learn to work hard to achieve their dreams just like how successfully I reached it. I would definitely enjoy my job and I’ll maybe be having good friends, and I’ll hang out with them and shop with them. With this kind of successful life I think I would be the happiest women in the earth! I believe I would be more religious and trustworthy with God since he gave me almost all I wanted to have.

stuff i wrote when i was 12: aj rafael and friends

sorry for my poor writing skills... :)

AJ RAFAEL and FRIENDS

Do you know AJ Rafael?
My sister just discovered him in youtube. And I can surely tell he’s one of the youtube celebrities. We found him when we were looking for the official music video of Jason Mraz and Colbie Caliat singing “Lucky”. He was with his friend, Cathy Nguyen and they were doing a cover of Lucky. It was good. They got the correct harmonies and they were able to sing it very well which earned them millions of views.
So since I saw this Filipino Celebrity in youtube, I watched his videos where had known the circle of his friends. He sings with his different friends. Once I saw her sing with Lydia Paek then the next video, he’s doing a cover of “Anyone else but you” with Jess Delgado. I guess that’s because they were studying at the same college music school, something like that (I remembered he mentioned that in one of his videos…).

Anyway, Aj Rafael also writes his own songs. I totally liked the song he write with Jesse Barrera: “She was mine”. It was kind of Jason Mrazy style. I like the tune! And since I heard that song I’ve been singing it all the time and it had been stuck in my head. But I think Albert Posis and Mark Meija’s cover was the best. AJ also did a cover of his own song with Kallie Palm, with AJ using the piano. Until now I’ve been listening to this song while I’m doing assignment, reviewing or chatting with my friends. Even though it’s pretty tiring to hear it again and again I still love the song and I am so much thankful to AJ and Jesse for making this kind of melodic song.
Another song I liked was titled “I Just want you”. He composed this all by himself. This is also my favorite AJ song being next to the first one I mentioned. AJ composed many songs but not all were pretty good to me, but I’m not saying all of his other songs were truly bad. Some of them are just tiring to hear, but of course, his songs are not that awful.

AJ’s friends on youtube!
Lydia Paek
I’ve seen her singing “Chasing Pavements” with AJ and “I’m Yours” with AJ and his other friend (forgot the name of that guy). I remember her doll-like face, and her brunette hair. She always wear eyeliner. She has a strong voice and have a strong vibration when she is singing. She can still sing Chasing Pavements in spite of her sore throat. She’s not only a singer but a dancer. I didn’t saw her dance yet, but AJ mentioned Lydia dances too. Lydia’s funny and she laughs so loud and hard.

Jess Delgado
This girl is so charming. She had the perfect eyes, well-shaped lips, dainty nose and curly black hair. I know she’s don’t have that white American skin but her tan skin tone is perfect for her Asian-like face. Her voice is unique and obviously like Norah Jones’ voice. She don’t babble a lot. She’s more like the shy type.

Mark Meija
To be honest Mark sings the best among AJ’s friends (including him). He has a beautiful and heart-warming voice. He can control his voice. He’s Fil-Am and he once beaten the crowd’s favorite singer, David Archuleta when in “star search” when they were younger, making David as the second runner-up and him as the champ. He has his own youtube account (markster) and he appeared on their cover of “Everytime I close my eyes” with Albert Posis and AJ Rafael.
He also had a cover of “She was mine” with Albert Posis when they were having their slumber party at Albert’s house.

Cathy Nguyen
I don’t know if it’s Cathy or Kathy but anyway, Cathy was the one who sang with AJ in their cover of “Lucky” which became the best-loved cover of Jason and Colbie’s song. I’m not sure if she had her own band but I always saw her to be the vocalist in her videos.
She’s a cutie too. She looked like Vietnamese.

Albert Posis
This is Mark’s best buddy. He always do covers with Mark. Usually, you can see him holding the guitar when doing covers. He also plays piano. I don’t know If he’s a Filipino but describing what he looked like makes me think he’s one of us. Usually, Albert sings the high part when having duet and covers with his friends. He sounded like Mark in their popular cover “She was mine”! I can’t even distinguish their voices, I don’t know if Albert really sang the high part of the song. Albert’s funny and aggressive.

Jasmine
I forgot her surname!!!
This girl showed up in Miley’s music video of “7 things”. She’s the one holding the bulletin board. This girl is pretty, has long black waist-length hair and fair skin. She did a cover of “Can you feel the love tonight” and “A Whole new world” with AJ. I noticed she sounded like Beyonce when she sings low notes.
She has her own youtube channel but I forgot her username, but anyway, I watched her 2 other videos. The first one I watched, she sang Rihanna’s song (My memory fainted!), where she was recording it in her house (not sure). The other one was maybe in her concert. She sang “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys. Jasmine is charming and the shy type that I usually liked. I can tell she’s somewhat religious or had a mad love for God. When she was singing Alicia Keys’ song, instead of singing “If I Ain’t got you, baby” she said “If I Ain’t got you, Jesus”. I’m glad that there’s still someone like her who realizes it’s all because of Jesus why they became fortunate and lucky.